Category Archives: Local

City election filing begins

Monday, 07 January 2008
Candidates for municipal office in the City of Tulsa, filing for Auditor and 9 Council Districts, will file Declarations of Candidacy beginning at 8 a.m. Monday, January 14 one week from today.

Patty Bryant, Secretary of the Tulsa County Election Board, said the filing period will end at 5 p.m. Wednesday, January 16.  Declarations of Candidacy will be accepted at the Tulsa County Election Board located at 555 N. Denver, in Tulsa.

To be eligible to file as a candidate for the City of Tulsa Auditor, a person shall be a qualified elector (registered voter) and resident of the City at the time of filing.  For the office of Councilor, a person shall have been a qualified elector (registered voter) of the election district for more than ninety (90) days at the time of filing for the office for that election district.

The City of Tulsa requires a $50.00 filing fee in the form of a cashier’s check or certified check made payable to the CITY OF TULSA for political party candidates filing for Councilor or City Auditor, or in lieu of the filing fee, a petition supporting a candidate’s filing signed by at least three hundred (300) qualified electors (registered voters)  from the city at large if the candidate seeks the office of City Auditor or from the election district if the candidate seeks the office of Councilor from an election district.  Independent candidates shall have their name placed on the ballot to be used in the general election by filing with the Election Board a Declaration of Candidacy and shall have attached a supporting petition which shall be signed by at least three hundred (300) qualified electors (registered voters) from the City at large if the independent candidate seeks the office of City Auditor, or from the election district if the independent candidate seeks the office of Councilor from an election district.

The Primary Election for the City of Tulsa will be held March 4, 2008, and the General Election for the City of Tulsa will be held April 1, 2008.  Voters registered to vote in a political party may vote for their party nominee at large for the office of City Auditor and by election district for each of the nine councilor districts at the Primary Election.  All voters registered to vote in the City of Tulsa may vote for candidates advancing from the Primary to the General Election as well as Independent candidates for the office of City Auditor but only voters registered to vote within each election district will vote for candidates advancing from the Primary to the General as well as Independent Candidates for the office of Councilor in Council Districts 1 through 9.

Oklahoma Voter Registration Application forms are available at the County Election Board office located at 555 North Denver Avenue, in Tulsa, Monday through Friday 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Bryant said that applications are also available at most post offices, most public libraries, and all tag agencies within the county.
Last Updated ( Monday, 07 January 2008 )

Bates wrong about Tulsa County

Monday, 07 January 2008
In an oped piece in the Urban Tulsa Weekly of November 28th, Michael D. Bates made a statement which, for someone who presents himself as an expert on local government, was extremely misinformed and inaccurate.

Michael is a smart man but if he is going to be a computer programmer turned journalist, he might do some basic research.  For example, in the November 28th article he makes the following statement that isn’t true.  He said, “The County Commission’s primary role in Oklahoma is to provide limited municipal-type services to unincorporated areas.  That role should shrink as more and more of the county’s territory is annexed into cities and towns.”  As most readers will know, the unincorporated area is the area not falling within the city limits of the incorporated cities and towns of Tulsa, Broken Arrow, Owasso, Jenks, Glenpool, Sperry, Collinsville, Skiatook, Bixby, and Sand Springs. The incorporated area includes all of these towns and cities.

Michael needs to check the Oklahoma Statutes, Title 19.  When he does so he will find that the county commissioners are responsible for county functions throughout the county. In fact, the county commissioners are known as the “chief administrators in county government”. The county commission districts include all areas in the county, including the incorporated cities and towns.

The county commission is responsible for all the county buildings, including the courthouse.  So, they are the judicial system’s landlords.  Nearly all of the county buildings are in the incorporated areas.  The county commission is responsible for setting personnel and human resource policies. At nearly every weekly county commissioner meetings we approve hiring, terminations, training and other personnel matters of employees throughout the county.   When someone has a major complaint against the county assessor’s office, treasurer’s office, county clerk’s office, court clerk’s office or the Sheriff or any other county activity, the suit (by statute) is filed against the county commission.  So, we have the pleasure of being involved in litigation regardless of where it occurs in the county.

The commissioners are responsible, by Oklahoma statute, for developing and overseeing the $60 million county budget. As a practice, in Tulsa County we do this in concert with the other county elected officials as a “budget board”. The board must be headed up by the county commission chairman. Obviously, the budget board affects the incorporated areas. Only the county commission can sell, buy or renovate county land or buildings.  The county commission has the power to audit any county office, even that of an elected official.  We have excellent county officers so this is not likely to occur.  (The state audits all of county government each year.)  As you know, these elected officials are Sheriff Stanley Glanz, County Treasurer Dennis Semler, County Assessor Ken Yazel, County Clerk Earlene Wilson, and County Court Clerk Sally Howe Smith.  The county commission is required to provide court room, jail, and offices for the sheriff, treasurer, district clerk, court clerk, county clerk, district attorney, juvenile bureau, court services, judge of the district court and other county functions.  All of these elected officials submit monthly reports to the county commission as dictated by statute.

While most of the road, bridge and highway work is done in the unincorporated areas, the county does a lot of street widening, snow plowing and asphalt overlays within incorporated cities.  Recent heavy duty street projects, for example, include the Broadway Bridge in Collinsville, South Tulsa projects including a number of miles on 91st Street, Mingo and Sheridan.  In Sand Springs a lot of residential streets are being done now by the county.  Ask the town and city mayors and city managers and staff if they don’t depend on the county.

The county commission chairman sits on the Tulsa Metropolitan Area Planning Commission, the body that has a lot of responsibility regarding zoning and land use throughout the county.  The county commissioners also hear and vote on appeals made by those who disagree with planning commission decisions.

Image
Michael D. Bates
The following division directors report to the county commissioners:  County Engineer (roads, bridges, and inspections), Human Resources, Social Services (Family Homeless Shelter and pharmacy), Court Services (inmate parolee and community services supervision), Building Operations, Parks, MIS, Budget Director and Purchasing.   And, we interface with City-County Health and the Juvenile Bureau on multiple issues.  We take state laws dealing with competitive bidding very seriously. Hundreds of bid packages are opened every year in county commission meetings and many of these deal with the incorporated towns and cities. (Michael was critical about the county commissioners not putting out bond underwriting for bid but there have been no bond issues by the county in the eleven months Commissioner John Smaligo and I have been in office. I’m told that the RFP process was used previously.)

Only the county commission can contract with a government body of a city.  Only the county commission can issue bonds on behalf of the county.  The county commission is responsible for seeing that state laws regarding county inventory laws are followed.  Most county parks are located within the incorporated cities.  These include LaFortune Park, O’Brien Park, South Lakes and Chandler.  The county commission, through its MIS director and staff, is responsible for the county-wide computer system.  The county commission is responsible for approving all county bills and claims.

While only required by statute to meet monthly, the Tulsa county commission meets weekly and will do so in 2008, when I am chairman.  Prior to each Board of County Commission meeting, we get many pages of material to go over in order to approve or disapprove by vote in the Monday morning meeting.  Most of these deal with issues that are county wide.

So as you can see, Michael was very wrong about the county commission’s job responsibilities being limited to the unincorporated areas.  Obviously the board’s responsibilities are county wide, including the cities and towns.  As population grows, the need for all county commission activities will grow, not shrink, because they are not limited to the unincorporated areas as Michael incorrectly stated.

I have no vested interest in the activities of the county Board of County Commissioners growing.  I’ll expect to be retired four years from now.  However, I couldn’t let Mr. Bates’ incorrect statement about the role of the Board of County Commissioners go unchallenged.  I’m disappointed that he doesn’t do his homework before improperly informing those members of the public who read the Urban Tulsa Weekly.

In addition, in Tulsa County, the fairgrounds are owned by the county.  The three county commissioners sit on the board of Expo Square.  They have the majority responsibility for the five member board in overseeing the running of that enterprise – an enterprise which has a $125 million positive impact on the metro area.  The board, often simply called the “fair board” operates as a trust set up in 1983 as the Tulsa County Public Facilities Authority.  These responsibilities won’t “shrink” either but due to the recently built new facilities and more buildings in progress, the Expo Square activities will grow and oversight will be more important, not less.

One more thing — In his November 28 oped Michael says that I refer all inquiries about Vision 2025 accounts to John Piercey.  That is a false statement and Michael would have no way of knowing what I do with inquiries from people other than himself and possibly a couple of other people.  I do refer inquiries about Vision 2025 bonds to John Piercey because John Piercey represents the company that did the underwriting of the Vision 2025 bonds long before Commission Smaligo and I were elected.  I refer Vision 2025 account information to the county fiscal officer, Jim Smith.  I could look up the balances myself in the information provided to the county commissioners in monthly reports but I want the inquirer to get the latest information from Jim.  In the incident Mr. Bates referred to, ironically he called me asking for me to call John Piercey for him to get the information he wanted.  I was just following Michael’s request. I was in Oklahoma City at the time on county business.

Also in the oped of November 28th, Michael made some other accusations about me which simply aren’t true.  Anyone who knows me knows that I accept constructive criticism in a positive manner.  It isn’t Michael‘s constructive criticism that bothers us.  It’s his wild generalizations and assertions not based on facts that are troubling.

Michael says we don’t take a skeptical look at county government and challenge ways of doing things.  He is not in the meetings or in the offices of division heads or the fairground staff when we have done exactly that.  But we don’t agree with him on some points, and some time in the past someone in county government made him mad, so he uses the barrels of ink at the Urban Tulsa to make assertions that aren’t true.  In some cases, his facts just aren’t right, as the reader can see from his misinformation about the statutory and constitutional role of the county commission.

Tulsa Today Edit Note:
Never elected or formally educated in government or journalism, Michael D. Bates continues a career promoting fabricated negatives on Tulsa.  Primary among his victims are those who supported Vision 2025, a public development effort approved by voters in 2003.  Bates led the failed opposition to that effort and has been demonizing Tulsa people and institutions ever since.  His favorite targets include Tulsa County because the constituencies are too large for his small group of activists to impact.  While never proving charges against elected public officials, Bates has himself been guilty of failing to disclose his own interests in two published instances Tulsa Today has found to date including political payola and professional self-interest.  As marginal media loves polarizing figures; Bates has found his niche with his blog, an entertainment rag, and the radical radio station that promoted and defended disgraced former host Michael DelGiorno.

Last Updated ( Wednesday, 09 January 2008 )

Attachment Disorders Part Three: Dear Mom

Friday, 28 December 2007
I’m only a baby, and to become emotionally well-adjusted later I need your help!  Do you think it will hurt Dad’s feelings that I asked you first?  I hope not.  His love and care are very important to me too!

Mom, I already have a special relationship with you.  Before I was born, I knew the warmth of your body, the rhythm of your heartbeat and the sound of your voice.  Now a stronger bond with you will help me learn to trust others for physical and emotional comfort.

When you see my sweet little face, can you imagine that later I could develop severe behavior problems or even commit serious crimes?  Probably not!  But if I fail to bond now I could develop an attachment disorder and have difficulty with human relationships when I become an adult.  Failure to bond with my parent(s) places me at high risk for growing into a manipulative, controlling, "unattached child" without a conscience and with extreme self-control problems.  We don’t have any time to waste!  It’s important that I develop strong emotional attachments with my primary caregiver within the first eighteen months of my life.

I could develop an attachment disorder if I experience abuse, neglect, or poor parenting skills.  I need to trust you for comfort and won’t understand if you are not aware that I am in pain or why you cannot always stop my pain.  Attachment problems could arise if our bonding cycle is interrupted due to illness, hospitalization, divorce, or death.  It can be dangerous for me to experience numerous changes in childcare, or an "emotionally absent" mother due to chronic maternal depression, drug abuse, or a severe psychiatric disorder.  Gee, Mom, that’s a lot of responsibility for you, but don’t get discouraged.

Healthy bonding is simple.  My part is to cry when I’m hungry, uncomfortable, or in pain.  Every time I cry, I have a need.  It may be a physical or an emotional need, but it is a need.  Your part is to soothe me with eye-contact, touch, motion, or food so I’ll learn to trust you.  If my parents want me to understand that I can trust them, they must respond each time I cry.  Some people will say that you are spoiling me.  Please don’t listen!

Experts agree that I cannot be spoiled during my first two years of life.  Every time you comfort me when I cry, I’ll learn to trust you and our bond will grow stronger.  When you respond to my cries over and over without interruption, I will learn that my environment is safe.

How will you know if I am forming healthy attachments?  You’ll recognize when I cry and you meet my needs, that I can be soothed.  I’ll gradually stop crying.  I will enjoy close contact, cuddling and playing.  I’ll smile, chortle, giggle and seem happy.  My eyes will seek faces, especially yours, Mom, and I’ll fixate on your eyes.  I’ll have a strong sucking response and watch your face while nursing.  Though I may display a variety of emotions, including anger and sadness, I’ll seem "normal" and glow with enthusiasm for life.

Do you hear a baby crying?  That’s me!  I’m just telling you that I want to get started on our bonding cycle right now!

Love,
Baby

Symptoms of un-attachment

Parents don’t panic if you observe an occasional sign of un-attachment.  Bonding and attachment require time.  However, you should be aware of these symptoms.  Babies with many of these symptoms might be a high-risk for developing an attachment disorder:

1.)  ABNORMAL CRYING PATTERNS — very weak or very rage full crying, crying without tears, or constant whining.
2.)  EXTREMELY RESISTANT TO CUDDLING — arches back or stiffens body in protest, doesn’t conform to contours of parent’s body when held, and fights to be set free from cuddling or physical touch.
3.)  RESISTS EYE CONTACT — turns gaze away from parents, uncomfortable with close face-to-face encounters.
4.)  NO SMILING RESPONSE — seems passive and ignores smiles of others, does not exchange smiles even with parents.
5.)  NO INTEREST IN PLAYING — does not "coo" or gurgle in response to gentle tickling or playful gestures.
6.)  NURSING DIFFICULTIES — does not adapt well to nursing, may fail to develop strong sucking responses.
7.)  NOT "NORMAL" — displays no sign of strong attachment to any other human, lacks zest for living.

Helping Baby Bond

Babies learn about their environment through their five senses: touch, sight, hearing, taste, and smell.  When parents provide the kind of nurturing and care the baby needs, the five senses are positively stimulated.  To promote healthy bonding, keep these tips from your baby in mind:

TOUCH — Each time I am held, I experience the sense of touch.  When I cry, I learn that someone will respond by picking me up to investigate my need.  When my diaper is changed, my sense of touch is relieved from irritability.  My discomfort after feeding is relieved by patting to help me burp.  My need for emotional comfort is soothed by cuddling, patting, or rocking.  I sense my parents’ feeling of tension or relaxation through my sense of touch.

SIGHT — If I am held facing away from my parents, I am robbed of the eye contact I need.  Studies show that very young babies prefer faces (especially their mother’s face) over other visual stimulation.  Hold me face-to-face to promote healthy bonding.

HEARING — I need a balance of quiet time and auditory stimulation.  I need quiet time for rest, but I also need my parents to talk to me.  I enjoy hearing my parents’ voices when they read or sing.

TASTE — Taste is stimulated when I am fed.  I begin to associate relief from hunger with my sense of taste.  Feeding time is an especially important time for me to be touched and nurtured.  If I am left alone to eat or with a bottle propped up on a pillow, I might not understand that my parents are involved in my relief from hunger.  Since I need food to live, holding me will help me understand that I can trust my parents to provide my needs.

SMELL — The smell of dirty diapers and soured milk is just as offensive to me as it is to adults.  I use my sense of smell to help me identify people and places.  To learn that my environment is a safe and pleasant place, I need clean, fresh aromas.
 
Edit Note:
Part one of this series is titled "The enemy within" and part two is “Teaching teachers" which is followed by this post "Dear Mom.”

This series was originally published in 1997 by Tulsa Today and is the most referenced work in our archive frequently republished with permission worldwide.  While the local Attachment Network is no longer active, parents seeking help are encouraged to contact the Tulsa Developmental Pediatrics and Center for Family Psychology.

About the Author:
Linda Ann Smith earned her Bachelor of Arts in Education degree in 1972, and Master of Education degree in 1980, from Northeastern State University in Tahlequah, Oklahoma.

Smith served as consultant for the Oklahoma Writing Project (affiliated with the National Writing Project), as education consultant for The Attachment Network, and on the Broken Arrow Public Schools Writing Cadre. Her other educational memberships include Delta Kappa Gamma, and Phi Delta Kappa, Broken Arrow Education Association, Oklahoma Education Association, and National Education Association. In 1996, Smith received training in the Talents Unlimited program and Six Analytical Writing Traits model.

In her spare time Smith is a dreamer, a freelance artist, and an Internet chat room enthusiast. She has a soft heart for Vietnam Veterans, Native Americans, and people who have a pulse. Her hobbies include interior decorating, raising herbs, and collecting dust.
Last Updated ( Friday, 28 December 2007 )

Attachment Disorders Part Two: Teaching teachers

Wednesday, 26 December 2007
Unattached children display startling and bizarre behavior and seem to lack conscience for their actions. They are guided only by what they want at the moment. They have no regard for how their behavior impacts another human being.

Coping with the behavior of an unattached child in the classroom is one of the most demanding challenges teachers face. Unattached children are manipulative and self-centered. They have extreme self-control difficulties. However, they attempt to control everyone around them.

Discipline techniques may seem awkward to teachers who have never experienced the controlling behavior of a severely unattached child. Love and praise are simply not sufficient for these children. Unattached children learn trust only when they begin to give up control.

The following tips for teachers are a collection of ideas from parents, teachers, and experienced professionals in the field:

1. Establish Eye Contact
Unattached children roll their eyes around in their sockets or look across the shoulder to avoid eye contact. insist that the child maintain normal eye contact during conversation. Be aware that unattached children will attempt to control the situation by initiating a "staring match." However, their eye contact is excellent when they are very angry or when they are manipulating someone.

2. Establish Who Is Boss
When a child tries to manipulate, remind him in a calm, firm, controlled voice that you are the boss. Then ask the child, "Who is the Boss?" Reinforce the child’s confirmation that the teacher is boss with a statement such as, "That’s right. I’ll be a good boss and a fair boss, but I am the boss."

3. Recognize The Child’s Subtle Attempts To Control
Unattached children often deliberately omit parts of an assignment, letters, words, sentences, problem numbers, or their names. When instructed to sit down, they often choose an indirect path to their seats, meandering around the room before sitting. When assigned a certain number of repetitive exercises, they may choose to do a few more, or less, than requested. Acknowledge the number completed, and ask the child to begin again, until he produces the exact number of activities requested. This may require the child to repeat the activity several times.

4. Win All Control Battles
Structure all of the child’s choices so that the teacher remains in control. For example, if you want the child to take his coat outside on a cold day, ask him/her, "Do you want to wear your coat or carry it?"

5. Recognize Good And Poor Decisions
Since these children have great difficulty with cause and effect relationships, everything they do should be related back to their ability to make decisions. Recognize good decisions as if you expected this behavior all along with a comment such as, "I see you made a good decision to finish your math." Recognize poor decisions with a similar suitable statement such as, "I see you chose to have incomplete work today. You may finish it at recess. Better luck next time."

6. Allow The Child To Accept Responsibility
Look for creative ways to allow the child to experience the natural consequences of his actions.

7. Be Consistent
Do not allow the child any slack. Confront each misbehavior and support each good behavior.

8. Remain Calm
A child who manages to upset the teacher is in control of the situation. Model and verbalize desired behavior.

9. Document Interactions And Observations Of The Child
It is not uncommon for unattached children to inflict injury upon themselves and claim abuse. They can easily assume the role of an abused child and manipulate outsiders to rescue them. Good documentation is necessary to help the educator remain objective if the child accuses parents or classmates of abuse. It may also prove helpful if the child accuses the teacher of abuse.

10. Request Help
Asking for help does not indicate that the teacher’s skills are weak. Supportive administrators, and utilization of available resources, are invaluable especially for teachers of unattached children.

Educators must be willing to realize that some children should not remain in a regular classroom setting. In their book, High Risk: Children Without A Conscience, Dr. Ken Magi and Carole A. McKelvey say, "No teacher should be asked to work with severely unattached children who are so out of control that they are a danger to themselves and others. These children need to be referred for therapy."

"Many professionals who work with children are still not aware of attachment disorders," says Kathy Miller, former president of The Attachment Network. When Miller teaches educators about attachment disorders in staff development workshops, she stresses that children who are referred for therapy must be sent to professionals who are knowledgeable about correct treatment of the disorder. "Traditional therapy is not successful with these children," she says.
Edit Note:
Part one of this series is titled "The enemy within" and part three, “Dear Mom”

This series was originally published in 1997 by Tulsa Today and is the most referenced work in our archive frequently republished with permission worldwide.  While the local Attachment Network is no longer active, parents seeking help are encouraged to contact the Tulsa Developmental Pediatrics and Center for Family Psychology.

About the Author:
Linda Ann Smith earned her Bachelor of Arts in Education degree in 1972, and Master of Education degree in 1980, from Northeastern State University in Tahlequah, Oklahoma.

Smith served as consultant for the Oklahoma Writing Project (affiliated with the National Writing Project), as education consultant for The Attachment Network, and on the Broken Arrow Public Schools Writing Cadre. Her other educational memberships include Delta Kappa Gamma, and Phi Delta Kappa, Broken Arrow Education Association, Oklahoma Education Association, and National Education Association. In 1996, Smith received training in the Talents Unlimited program and Six Analytical Writing Traits model.

In her spare time Smith is a dreamer, a freelance artist, and an Internet chat room enthusiast. She has a soft heart for Vietnam Veterans, Native Americans, and people who have a pulse. Her hobbies include interior decorating, raising herbs, and collecting dust.

Last Updated ( Friday, 28 December 2007 )

Attachment Disorders Part One: The enemy within

Saturday, 22 December 2007
The smell of singed hair filled the classroom. A young girl grasped her smoldering pigtail and ran screaming to the teacher. Scott walked quietly to the front of the room. He dropped a book of matches and a scorched piece of paper into the wastebasket. He seemed unaware of the hysterical girl who was clinging to her third grade teacher.

The other students, paralyzed with horror, watched silently as Scott brushed ashes from his sleeve. On the way back to his seat, Scott spit on one of his classmates and "accidentally" bumped into another. As if nothing unusual had happened, Scott settled himself at his desk. Scott is an unattached child.

Healthy attachments begin in early infancy. The infant experiences pain, hunger, or discomfort and expresses rage by crying. The infant’s primary caregiver (usually the mother) responds to the infant’s rage reaction with eye contact, touch, motion, or food. The infant learns to trust his caregiver for comfort and the bonding process begins. This bonding cycle is repeated countless times during the infant’s first year of life. Uninterrupted repetition of the cycle results in a strong trust bond between infant and caregiver.

Attachment disorders result when the infant’s needs are not gratified. Kathy Miller, founder and president of The Attachment Network in Oklahoma, explains, "When an infant expresses rage and feels no relief for his need, he learns that to survive this world, he must control it. These children actually believe that if they release control to anyone else that they will die."

Unattached children are difficult to recognize. They deceive their elders with superficial charm while they scrutinize the environment. In school, as a teacher begins to establish a closer relationship to an unattached child, the negative behavior begins. The closer the teacher tries to get, the more the child rebels.

Scott’s behavioral problems and lack of socialization skills were apparent when he entered kindergarten. Other children complained about his aggressive behavior and he became known as the playground bully. Each year, a new teacher tried to give him the opportunity for a fresh start.

"At first Scott smiled and seemed anxious to please. I began to wonder if his previous teachers had unintentionally provoked his negative behavior," admitted his third grade teacher. "Six weeks later, Scott was disruptive, impulsive, destructive. His mother refused to come to conferences and his father accused me of picking on his son."

Parents of unattached children, whether biological or adoptive, are usually angry, frustrated, and hostile. Because the child believes he was born into an unsafe world, he often directs his anger toward his mother or mother-figure. Outsiders (and often fathers) are not with the child as much and do not experience the mother’s stressful situation. They view only the child’s charming behavior. The child deliberately creates tension between his parents to satisfy his desire to manipulate and control. "The frustrated mother is pulling her hair out and looks crazy, while the father blames the mother for provoking the child," Miller explains. This conflict increases tension and the parents appear unreasonably angry.

Paul and Debbie were social workers who worked with abused children when they adopted severely abused twins. Almost immediately they knew that something was seriously wrong with one of their children. Their training and experience had not prepared them to parent a six-year-old who went into rages, knocked holes in the wall, overturned furniture, set fires, and planned the details of their murder.

They sought help from therapists and doctors, who suggested that the child’s behavioral problems were so serious that the parents should consider giving up the child. Paul and Debbie ignored this advice and finally found a doctor who remembered hearing something about attachment disorders. He referred them to the Attachment Center at Evergreen, Colorado. The child was placed in therapy and the parents trained to help. "Parenting skills which we thought were wise were totally wrong for this child," Paul explained.

Paul and Debbie have no idea why only one of their twins is unattached. They do know that the infancy of both twins was similar to that of many other unattached children. Debbie said, "By the time they were four years old, they had been shuffled back and forth between an abusive biological family and eight different foster homes."

Any child who experiences great trauma, especially during the first eighteen months of life, is at high risk of developing an attachment disorder. Attachment problems can surface if an infant is separated from his primary caregiver due to foster care, divorce, death, illness or hospitalization. Abuse, neglect, teenage mothers with poor parenting skills, or emotionally absent mothers with chronic maternal depression, contribute to development of the disorder. Symptoms of unattached children include the following:

Superficially charming
Abnormal eye contact
Extreme self-control problems
Manipulative, controlling
Destructive to self and others
Cruel to animals
Hoarding and hiding food or toys
Inability to connect cause with effect
Lack of conscience
Preoccupied with fire, blood and gore
Poor peer relationships
Stiffens when touched
Persistent nonsense questions, incessant chatter
Crazy, chronic, obvious lying
Refusal to show affection to parents
Learning lags and disorders

Some symptoms may be seen in many children, but unattached children display all or most of them. Traditional therapy methods will not work for these children. Severely unattached children, like Scott, must be referred to professionals who are knowledgeable about correct treatment of attachment disorders. The earlier the child is referred, the better the prognosis. Professionals can help these children battle the enemy within themselves.

Edit Note:
Part two of this series is titled “Teaching teachers” and part three, “Dear Mom.”

This series was originally published in 1997 by Tulsa Today and is the most referenced work in our archive frequently republished with permission worldwide.  While the local Attachment Network is no longer active, parents seeking help are encouraged to contact the Tulsa Developmental Pediatrics and Center for Family Psychology.

About the Author:
Linda Ann Smith earned her Bachelor of Arts in Education degree in 1972, and Master of Education degree in 1980, from Northeastern State University in Tahlequah, Oklahoma.

Smith served as consultant for the Oklahoma Writing Project (affiliated with the National Writing Project), as education consultant for The Attachment Network, and on the Broken Arrow Public Schools Writing Cadre. Her other educational memberships include Delta Kappa Gamma, and Phi Delta Kappa, Broken Arrow Education Association, Oklahoma Education Association, and National Education Association. In 1996, Smith received training in the Talents Unlimited program and Six Analytical Writing Traits model.

In her spare time Smith is a dreamer, a freelance artist, and an Internet chat room enthusiast. She has a soft heart for Vietnam Veterans, Native Americans, and people who have a pulse. Her hobbies include interior decorating, raising herbs, and collecting dust.

Last Updated ( Friday, 28 December 2007 )