Editorial: Thank you, Mike Bloomberg, for your media buy as a Presidential Candidate in Oklahoma.  As a Super Tuesday State we appreciate your attention. Our local media need the revenue. 

Further, we thank you for employing convicted criminals in Oklahoma.  (Bloomberg campaign hired New Jersey-based ProCom, which has two call centers in a state prison in Oklahoma.) This economic development effort is also greatly appreciated. 

We again thank you for your efforts to eliminate private ownership of guns.  We are somewhat unclear if banning weapons also applies to your private security force, but maybe you will cover that topic in your next broadcast message.  We did see you criticize citizens with guns in Texas that stopped a slaughter at their Church service.  Apparently you believe it would have been better for them all to die while waiting an official police response.

Your effort to ban large soda is so insightful we are surprised that the Court overturned it.  Of course, many workers on Oklahoma job sites don’t need so much soda at a time – easy as it is to run to the store and get another. 

Oklahomans need your wisdom to tell us what to eat and drink, how and when and what to worship and generally to direct our every hour of every day.

It must be so very fine to be a multi billionaire and jet between New York and a weekend Caribbean Island home.  Climate change should restrict the unwashed masses, but not the powerful.  That is why we must destroy the American economy to heal the world while China and India fill oceans with plastic and air with vile smoke.

But of all your “Little Mike” bits, we most appreciate how you demonstrate fake news in directing your media staff not to cover lying Leftist Democrats including your own campaign.  This finally puts the bow on fake news.

Tulsa Today is just a small flicker of local reporting awed by your brilliance.  We are hyper-local and try not to comment extensively on national political duplicity you demonstrate so well, but our favorite nugget of yours follows.  You know the one.  When you declare, “When we raise taxes on the poor, it’s good because then the poor will live longer because they can’t afford as many things that kill them.” Love that bit.